Battle of the Bulge...

For some time I've thought about the idea of blogging, but never went through with it.  All sorts of thoughts would come to mind...what would I write about, who would want to read it, will I get tired of it, what if my writing isn't as good and/or entertaining as so and so??  Now, I'm at a totally different place in life and I don't care about any of those things.  I recently embarked on a renewed quest for better health and improved fitness.  To keep myself on track (and possibly encourage others) I've decided to journal my experiences, thoughts and feelings.

This blog is my outlet...my journal...my confidant...my confessions.

Battle of the Bulge...

I don't know how it happened (well really I do) but I've been on a diet for as long as I can remember.  You know how some folk's early childhood memories are of riding a bike, setting up a tent in the backyard?  Well mine...being in 4th grade and my old gray-haired doctor telling my mother I was 20lbs overweight.  WTH?!  I didn't know anything about weight at that age.  But it was on that warm spring day that my battle of the bulge started.  Note:  I honestly can't recall which season it was, but warm/spring sounded good :).  I've been on every diet under the sun.  Some have worked and some did not.  I've been focused and I haven't given a damn. 

Imagine the scariest roller coaster at your local amusement park.  How did you feel when the rail car peaked its highest point?

You may have looked down once you noticed how high you were and freaked out!  OMG!  Get me down from here!!  And after being stalled for a couple of seconds (seemed like forever) you suddenly drop thousands of feet..leaving your guts and nerves up top.  But whew, you're safe, you finally made it back to that "not so dangerous" place.  You get comfortable and say to yourself, "I can handle this"...you think the roller coaster ride is over, but dammit, before you know it...without warning, the rail car takes off again, zipping you in and out of loops and turning you upside down before you come to a sudden stop...disheveled, hair flying, screams, laughter, crying.  Well, my "battle of the bulge" has been quite similar to a roller coaster ride.  Highs and lows, ups and downs, scary and comfortable, happy and sad...

Even though I'm still battling the bulge today, its weird...some days I look in the mirror and I see a skinny me starring back at me!  I don't see the thick in the thighs and the waist gal that I know I am.  Instead I see a rather svelte and sexy diva. 

And that is where my problem lays. Just like my hips, my body image is WAY TO HEALTHY! I've oftentimes put off improving my diet and exercise lifestyle because I felt like I was still cute and sexy so it wasn't that big of a deal. 

So anyway, let's fast forward to Spring 2010 - I visit my primary care physician for my annual physical.  No major issues come to surface, so I'm happy.  We discuss my family history of diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.  She tells me that I need to lose some weight, and if not, I'm guaranteed to be stricken with one of these illnesses when I get older.  OK, frightening enough...I say to myself "I know, I know, I know...just hurry up b/c I need to get back to work".  So then she says..."You are severely obese.  And yeah, you have a pretty face and all...but I don't know about the rest of you".  I almost fell slam off of the examination table.  WTH?!  Was I offended?  No, not really.  It was more of a realization...it hit the nail on the head...and in that one instance I KNEW I HAD TO DO SOMETHING!  Sidebar:  Remember the old Jenny Craig commercials.  The mom is telling her weight loss story.  She says one day she was feeding her children, and she reached over into one of their plates.  The child says "No mommy, that's my food".  The mother looks at the screen and says "That's when I knew I had to do something...and I called Jenny".  Well, that's exactly how I felt.  Here I am...thinking I'm looking half decent.  Yeah, I'm heavy but I carry my weight well.  Yeah, I need to lose weight, but I'll get around to it.  But to hear - ..."You are severely obese. And yeah, you have a pretty face and all...but I don't know about the rest of you".  That put me in an entirely different head space.  On that day I weighed in at my heaviest ever...230lbs.

I've made a conscious effort to incorporate more fruits and vegetables into my daily diet.  I've eliminated red meat and focus primarily on lean meats such as fish and chicken.  And just recently I've been hitting the gym.  I've lost 9-10lbs over the past 5 weeks or so.  I'm more motivated now than I've been in a long long time...and I'm looking forward to what is yet to come!!

Here goes, as I continue fighting my Battle of the Bulge!